Have you ever been in the middle of an important conversation and someone checks their iPhone? Or, you are speaking with a friend and a third party walks up. You are not introduced to the newcomer and your friend goes off and has a conversation with her leaving you by yourself. Perhaps, you are sitting in a room of associates and one person specifically calls the name of some others to sit together for lunch overlooking your presence.
There are many examples of inconsiderate behavior. What they all have in common is that you are left feeling invisible, unimportant and hurt. Every class has invisible students. They tend, at least for a while, to cause no trouble, be quiet, introverted or have a difficult home life. The teacher may not even remember their name because they fly under the radar while others are grabbing attention.
As an adult, if your self-esteem is relatively intact, you might be able to remind yourself that you have a loving family that acknowledges and includes you. You may have a good friend who reminds you how special you are. You may think that it is really the other person’s problem and not yours.
Judging yourself and the other favorably is no small task in the best of circumstances. Multiply these uncomfortable feelings for the invisible child and you might just have a serious problem to deal with.
As an educator or principal, first and foremost we need to assure that our student’s develop a sense of self-worth. A lonely student who is treated as though he does not exist will start to behave as though he does not exist. He may space out in class, turn to addictive behaviors to numb his feelings or create a false sense of comfort, act out in order to declare “I exist! Hear me! Recognize me! Acknowledge me!” or stop bothering to show up to school at all.
As the new school year approaches, I recommend that every teacher and principal start off with activities and expectations to assure that no pupil is left behind. Here are a few suggestions:
There is a lovely book called, “The Invisible Boy”. It is advertised as geared towards grades K-5. However, I think that all classes should read and discuss this book which really connects to how one feels when they are left out. I also came across this short video about the invisible student. Watch until the end.
What practices have you incorporated to assure that no student feels invisible? We’d like to hear from you.
Thank you so much for that subject, the invisibles normally go un noticed as a result of their inhibitive behavior. I find the idea of group work more ideal with distributed roles. There is also this game “pass the pencil” where a pencil rotates and the teacher controls its movement learners chant pass the pencil until a teacher claps twice signaling a stop. Then one who finds himself with a pencil responds to the challenge before them. Alternatively we play PENS IN THE MIDDLE where all learner in a group hold their pens/pencils prior the discussion, whoever finishes to contribute to the topic places the pen in the middle. This method gives no room for monopoly..
Thanks for sharing some great action steps to assure inclusion and recognition of all. Keep ’em coming!
Thanks alot for the insight. Learners being asked to report on good things they have made happen in class encourages them to be positively involved and to have something worth reporting when their turn comes.
Appreciate you sharing
I found this discussion very helpful on social issues when all are students are equal in the classroom. It provides wonderful tips that we all can consider & share not only in the classroom but in life. I use to feel hurt when a person just walked up & took over a conversation that they were not initially involve it. Or I felt harmed when they looked at their phone while I was talking.
Then I thought about these actions and forgave the third person who had entered the conversation because they were rude and didn’t even know it. And the person with the phone, I simply stopped talking and walked away. This way there was no harm done to me. They on the other hand thought looking at a persons response to a kitten walking across the kitchen floor was more important than discussing climate change?????
I hope that their future is simple and kind because these people are those who will not or can not face reality and rely on other to face it for them. Then they do not like the answers.
For the children you offered many helpful suggestions. I have more to share & answers to support their equality on my website http://www.FutureVisionsInc. com. In my work I have found the cause & effect for some of the behavior mentioned above. Lets all work together to resolve these issues for all our children/youth.
Thanks for this article it has many beneficial suggestions for all of us.
Thanks for sharing. The link you provided didn’t work but your comments are appreciated.