Cool Kids? Not so Much. 6 Steps to De-Emphasize Popularity

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Cool Kids - Are they the most successful in life?A recent study published in the journal Child Development has taken educators and psychologists by storm. Following a ten year study of the behavioral habits of 184 subjects, researchers found that those students considered “cool” in Jr. High School, ended up with statistically higher dysfunctions by the age of twenty-three.

At thirteen, these “popular” students and “cool kids” often had older friends, were the first invited to parties and lived “beyond their years”. This means that they partook in pseudo-mature behaviors such as abusing alcohol and drugs and risky sexual activities. 

It seems from the study that students labeled as “cool kids” at a young age, feel they must maintain that label throughout their high school years leading to their own detriment. Rather than truly developing life skills or academic knowledge, these “cool” kids work at keeping themselves at the center of attention through troubling behaviors. This eventually led to difficulty maintaining healthy relationships, problems with the law, and drug addiction.

In the book, “The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth: Popularity, Quirk Theory and Why Outsiders Thrive After High School” by Alexandra Robbins, the writer follows seven kids to see how they navigate social subcultures. Her findings are important for educators and parents alike. 

Robbins points out that researchers used to assume that the most popular students were those that people wanted to spend time with. However, when they changed the questions to, “Who is popular?” the results were not the same as for the question, “Who is liked?” 

Popular students might be the ones who make fun of others, spread rumors or act aggressively. These behaviors do not carry over well in adult life.

What can educators and parents do to teach students that popularity is not a necessary goal? Here are a few ideas:

1. Find ways to show students that being popular through nasty or dangerous, or not age appropriate behaviors does not necessarily lead to future success. Developing good social skills and academic knowledge or creative talents is much more likely to lead to quality of life. 

2. Encourage out-of-the-box activities such as joining a band, acting or increased academic studies. Students who do not feel compelled to fit-in are bound for greater future achievements.

3. Today’s media turns reality TV folks into celebrities, often by showing these people behaving in unbecoming ways. This leads to a sense that if one is not the center of attention, than they are no one. Lessons on what happens to many of these overnight sensations can go a long way to control the need for attention for the wrong reasons. How many famous actors and musicians died early deaths or spent their fortunes because they were seeking their next thrill or were in desperate need of outside attention? 

4. Help students by de-emphasizing the importance of popularity. Though everyone needs a good friend, needing many good friends, especially those acquired through risky behavior, is unimportant in the big picture of life. In addition, by praising and encourage students for expressing individualism and differing perspectives from the norm, character and self-esteem can be increased.

5. It is also helpful to encourage young people to join groups outside of school. I know many people who were considered outcasts in school, however, when they went to summer camp, their unique behavior made them the most popular campers because summer fun came out of their quirkiness.

6. Schools know that the worst part the day for less popular students is lunch time. Where to sit and who to sit with can be a daily challenge for many. Cafeterias can be set up with various seating options with larger and smaller tables and individual chairs. In this way, people can choose to sit with only one friend or many. 

What actions have you taken to de-emphasize popularity and encourage uniqueness in your students? We’d like to hear from you.

One Response to Cool Kids? Not so Much. 6 Steps to De-Emphasize Popularity

  1. Leah says:

    This study makes perfect sense to me. I especially like your #3 and #6 ideas!!! Thanks for posting this important information that needs to be shared with all teacher ans parents!

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